Almost one year

I can hardly believe that the one year mark is coming close. October 8 is the day that my world was turned upside down, crashed and crumbled apart. At least that is how I felt that day, so numb, angry, lost and unsure of what would happen to my sweet baby boy. I remember that day so clearly. I can still see the ultrasound tech measuring a spot over and over on his back and not saying a word. Being a nurse, I knew something was wrong but I didn't ask anything since I knew she couldn't really say. I was just so amazed to see my baby boy up on the big 42 inch screen wiggling away. I can still see Dr. Seale's face as she came in the room and gave me and my husband a hug before she ever said a word. I can still feel the knot grow in my stomach and the lump in my throat. I felt like all the dreams of what my child would one day be or do were dashed. The dream of Brad teaching our little one to play tennis or basketball, getting to see his first steps were drowning as I felt like I was drowning in that room at the Obgyn office. I doubt I will ever forget that day, but it is slowly fading and the joy and wonder of what happened on February 21 when Grant arrived far over shadows those painful memories. Now we have new dreams of seeing him hopefully taking his first steps with braces and maybe learning to play wheelchair sports if he wants. I just don't ever want him to use SB as a reason to not do something he wants to do.

Grant in the NICU, only 9 days old after a nice warm bath

It seems like each day slips away and so quickly now he is 6 months old. I look at pics of Charlie and Beckett and their blogs and wish so badly Grant was so little again. I can't wait till Grant can talk and crawl and be a big boy but it seems like his sweet baby days are flying by too quickly and I can't do anything to slow them down. He is rolling over both ways now and even sitting up on his own for just a few seconds before toppling over. Physical therapy is doing wonders for him. He's eating cereal and some fruits and veggies. So far his fave is apple and blueberries with rice cereal and HATES peaches, not that I blame him, they were nasty. Now some pics of my boy in action yesterday, rolling over and sitting up!!!!